A Poem: I Was Afraid | Apr. 2020
By: Alaia
Feature Photo Credit: Layla Saad
• • • • •
I was afraid.
Afraid of not being able to handle life.
Afraid of being alone.
Afraid taking care of myself.
Afraid of facing my demons.
Afraid of getting overwhelmed.
I was afraid.
• • • • •
I was afraid.
Afraid of drowning in my own sorrow.
Afraid of the silky seduction of quitting.
Afraid of…
Struggles With Postpartum Body | Apr. 2020
36 Weeks Pregnant with Twins6 Months Postpartum Body
I hate my postpartum body. And I hate that my weight loss journey is going nowhere.
I knew, when I found out that we were having twins, my body was going to change. But, I honestly was not expecting it to be so drastic. I gained so much weight, my skin got stretched, my bones shifted, my abs were shredded, and those are only…
By: Alaia
(Feature Photo Credit: CIO)
A Monologue: I’m A Failure
The Wife enters stage left wiping tears from her eyes.
Narrator: After a heated argument with her husband, the Wife locks herself in the bedroom and throws herself on the bed and sobs.
Wife: I’m a failure…
I do everything wrong. I can’t cook well. I don’t clean things right.…
This site contains affiliate links to products. I may receive a small commission for purchases made through these links.Lately, I have been feeling like I have not been as productive as I used to be. I would clean a part of the house everyday, find time to prioritize my day, work on my blog. Overall really, I was just more functioning. But ever since the quarantine, when I lost my normal…
By: Alaia
As I’m waiting down the hall, I feel hands wrap around my waist and pull me softly against a strong warm body. You whirl me around to face you, hair whipping against my neck. Your bright emerald eyes and even brighter smile beaming at me as if I were the only thing in the world that could make you happy. You lean down slowly while I tippy-toe to reach your lips. Then you press them…
I thought it would be interesting to at least have some documentation of my life during this quarantine. So I thought a day in the life kind of styled blog would be a good fit. I mean, despite how terrifying the situation is, this will kind of be a moment in history.
Quarantine Morning Routine: 9:00 AM:My husband & I usually wake up when the twins wake up. I’ve never been a morning…
A Poem: I’m Exhausted | Apr. 2020
I’m exhausted. My bones are heavy as if they were made of cement. My head thundering as if there are nothing but storm clouds drifting in it’s place.
As I write this, I’m sitting in the bathroom, behind a locked door, hiding from my husband, and forced away from my babies.
I know what you’re thinking, “how is he forcing you away from your kids?” It’s because I am not in the right mental space to be near them right now and it’s because of him. So I’m using this time and space to sort through my thoughts and feelings.
As you all…
Are Motherhood Burnouts a thing? Cause I might be going through one. This week has just been so exhausting. It could be that I’m starting to feel the effects of staying inside for weeks and it is taking its toll. But it might also be more, I think.
On top of staying indoors for who knows how long, my little ones have been going through a bit of a sleep regression. I’ve been trying to…
By: Alaia
I stand against the wall, so very alone, as I watch the crowd sway with joy to an invisible beat. The music so loud, I can’t hear my thoughts. I continue to watch with sudden longing, a need to be a part of something, to be someone. I swallow those emotions down and decide to stay put. But with a ferociousness, the impulse to feel the warmth of others consumes me.
I sigh and go find…
Part II; Vol. II: Second Trimester – Coachella:
It’s been a while since I wrote about my pregnancy. I had not realized how much time has gone by since my second trimester. It’s pretty much been a year. Time flew by so fast. I seriously can’t believe it.
If you’re new to this series, you are going to want to start at the beginning. However, if you are more up to date, then you would remember that…
By: Alaia
I’ve been swallowed by despair.
Burning in anger and fear.
The darkest depths of my sorrow.
Pain lingering in my veins.
Suspended in this dark abyss,
You pull me out of the blackness.
With a soft smile on your lips,
Only happiness you bring.
My heart is fluttering,
Like a hummingbird’s wings.
(Photo Credit: Audubon)
There are a lot of reasons why I started blogging. I had been thinking about it for a long time, but I was anxious about actually starting it. It seemed like such a futile thing to invest time into. Who would even read what I wrote? What if I run out of things to write about? There were a lot of things holding me back from starting my blog. Most of it being self-doubt.
Then one day, I just…
A Prose Poem: A Mother’s Night | Mar. 2020
My arms are filled with sand. My eyelids made of cement. Dazed, I walk to you. Following your cries with ever crack in my heart.
Mom Journal: Three Ways Motherhood Has Changed Me | Mar. 2020
They say becoming a mother is life altering. And duh, it’s true. Your entire world shifts to accommodate the new little human(s) that you carried for several months and then finally brought into the world. But what nobody really tells you is that you as a person change entirely as well. I know I definitely have.
I’m More Emotional:
I was never an emotional person before. I hardly cried. EVER! But…